Whine Before Liquor

In my never-ending quest to discover a non-existent playroom in my 1-livingroom house, I have decided to turn bottom part of the built-in china cabinet into toy storage.  I thought let you have a little Being John Malkovich moment with me.

<<Scene opens to find woman staring around small living room filled mostly with toys and a few furniture pieces serving as backdrop and repository for toys.  She is trying to manifest extra square footage out of thin air but her magic wand (glitter baton) continues to fail her..>>

Hm… If we move the couch forward halfway into the living room, then we can shove all of the toys between the couch and the back windows… that will be kind of like a playroom and we can pretend like we have a living room for people to do something other than play race cars.

<<Convinces husband to move couches around and try not to step on duplo blocks while 2yo and 4yo race stroller and shopping cart between their legs.>>

Husband: Hey!  It looks like we have a real living room! <<Lies down on now grown-up looking couch with iPad while kids continue to race stroller and shopping cart through now de-toyed space.>>

Okay, but the cabinets where their toys are currently shoved (entertainment center) is on the opposite side of the room.  I know, we can use the built-in cabinets right by our new "playroom."  Besides, all that's stored in there right now is our china… I don't see it getting used anymore this year than the zero times we've used it in the past 4 child-filled years.

<<Realizes that the playroom corner also happens to be where the wet bar and liquor cabinet are.>>

Hm… it will really suck if someone wants a drink and has to climb over a mountain of toys to get there… but then again, you're that much closer to a drink if you want a little something extra at the Minnie Mouse tea party… I wonder if that sink still works since we haven't really used the wet bar in the past 4 child-filled years… I've relied on wine.

<<Opens cabinet under wet bar to determine if toys can also be hidden there… stares at contents… tries to access suppressed memories… fails.>>

When exactly were we fun enough to use all this stuff (plastic margarita glasses, salt, mixers, half-empty handles of cheap vodka & tequila, shot glasses, more shot glasses)… Apparently our life isn't an episode of Mad Men.  Well at least we know we won't miss it.

<<Feels old and boring… closes cabinet and, in final act of surrender, slides shut child-lock.>>

Scene.